Fast, Cheap and Easy Tip #3: Ground Hogs Save You Money!

Perhaps you recall the great fun I had getting the last ground hog out of my yard. He saved me $50... well, there was plenty where he came from...

I caught THIS one FINALLY last afternoon and he was PISSED...

or she...

I have no idea how you tell the difference and I don't want to...

Now, the last time, I had a minute to think of what to do with it,... last night I had no such luxury... I had had the THIRD day in a row of day from hell this week at that lunatic bin I call an office and I hadn't gotten home at lunch to let Shadow the Wonder Dog out and he had to PEE and he had to eat and I was in no mood for any lip from a damn groundhog...

SO I took Shadow out the front which he likes better than having to pee in his own yard anyway... and then we got him some dinner and then I stared at the damn thing for a while...

I truly was thinking about getting a plastic bag and getting the trap into the bag and putting it all in the car for another little trip to City Island but it was getting late and that trap was not staying shut like it was the last time... the back door of it was getting wiggled open enough by that creature that I just KNEW he would be out of the trap and nothing but a plastic bag to keep him from running around like a loon in my CAR while I was trying to DRIVE...

No...

I, instead, WALKED him out of my house through from the back deck in front of the dog who was VERY interested in helping me... and then... UP to Seventh St... across 3 BIG streets I CARRIED the damn trap holding the back end of it closed so he couldn't jump out as I walked and he was HEAVY! ... past the ladies at the Legion Hall who were bitching at me for bringing the ground hog 2 blocks to THEIR place...

I told them he had likely been visiting with them on his own before this which they didn't want to hear and finally I got him to the big field that has a fence across it next to the ice house so that if he had jumped out of the trap after I got the back of it opened and through the hole in the fence, he would prolly have found a billion ground hog holes... one of which prolly opened right up into MY back yard, dammit... and been happy but NO...

He decided to jump out and head for the parking lot of the ice house where there is nothing but a dock that is too high up for him to jump and no where for him to go but out in the street and, oh, please, oh, please, oh,please, get hit by a passing car and never to bother my tomatoes again...

I tried to shoo him the other way but he was having none of it and just hid behind the axle of an ice wagon in the corner of the parking lot and he can sit there until Kingdom Come for all I care...

And so, having already invested in that Harbor Freight trap... this brings my ground hog eradication bonus refund to: $120.

Plus the tomatoes I'm going to get to eat so long as another ground hog doesn't show up...

Outlet Grocery Review: Whispering Pines Fruit Farm UPDATE

Yinz better get up there and FAST! Joann and I traveled to the Whispering Pines tonight because she was in town from Pittsburgh and had never been and I felt bad for raving on about this place in front of her... THE PEACHES ARE ALMOST GONE!

There was ONE 1/2 bushel of canning peaches under the little shelf in the fruit room and about 8 baskets of eating peaches in the refrigerated case. There were 9 but I had to have one.

Strawberries were $1.29 a quart and they need to be eaten IMMEDIATELY.

GORGEOUS big red peppers that need to have something done with them pretty directly are FOUR for $1!!! No lie.

Aged Colby cheese was $1.49 / lb. but I took the last package of it so, you know... sorry.

The honey crisp apples are SO sweet and tart and crisp. The Paula's are 3 lbs. for $1.29 but they're kind of soft textured... great apple flavor, though.

No peanut butter sandwich cookies tonight, sorry. But some GREAT sourdough and excellent looking white, wheat and cheesy bread.

FIVE pounds of yogurt for $1.99! And 2 for $1 Thomas' English muffins.

You better get up there. I'm just saying.

The Mystery Cans Revealed

Ok, ok, ok... so you can't stand not knowing what was in the label-less cans from the $5 Banana Box procured from the Pallet Grocery Outlet last week. Me, neither.


They were:

#1: Mandarin orange segments in light juice. Very tasty if I do say so myself.

#2: Whole berry cranberry sauce. About the only kind of cranberry sauce I can stand but still way too sweet and even though the calendar says September, it was 93 degrees today and I was not in any Fall fest mood. I stirred it into a box of orange-cranberry muffin mix and baked it for about an hour and half against my better judgment in this heat and they're ok... but they're going in to the office with me tomorrow where those people will eat anything if you put it on a plate and cover it with plastic wrap...

and lastly...

#3: Some kind of chicken and dumpling soup that looked pretty good even to vegetarian me. Shadow the Wonder dog got it spooned over his dog food this weekend and he pronounced it, "Deee-lish-iss!"

So the take away here is this: Even when you have no idea what you're getting at one of these outlet grocery places, it's still more fun than shopping at The Giant... and for 11 cents a can, sometimes even the dog scores.

Outlet Grocery Review: Whispering Pines Fruit Farm, Mt. Pleasant Mills, PA

There was just too much fun to be had in northern Juniata and Snyder Counties on Friday night to go home after hitting only ONE salvage grocery store jackpot. The Pallet Grocery Outlet of the last episode was in Brian and Susan's rear view mirror as we partied on...

Whispering Pines Fruit Farm

1652 Martin Brothers Road

Mt. Pleasant Mills, PA 17853

Phone: 570-539-2757

November - March:

Mon - Th: 8 AM - 7 PM

Fri: 8 AM - 8 PM

Sat: 8AM - 5 PM

April - October:

Mon - Fri: 8 AM - 8 PM

Sat: 8 AM - 5 PM

Accepts cash, local checks and credit cards and they have GIFT CARDS for crying out loud. They'll bag your groceries in free bags too.

How To Find It:

Ok, If you went to the Pallet Grocery Outlet in Mifflintown to start this trip, loop around the back of the store to go L on Lost Creek Road. THAT is the name of the road you turn onto off of Rt. 35 S to get there but you won't see a sign that says any such thing on your way in. Go L on Lost Creek and make a L when you get back to Rt. 35 towards Selinsgrove. At the light with the Juniata Bank in town, stay on Rt. 35 and I mean STAY on Rt. 35 for about 10 or 15 miles through some just chest-swelling beautiful Mooville countryside as long as it isn't snowing or dark. Finally, you will come to Rt. 104. Go R towards Harrisburg. There is a nifty, over-decorated snack shop right there where you could stop for a sandwich or something but why? You are on your way to the Whispering Pines and there is NO time to spare on a Friday night.

About 2 miles after you turn south onto Rt. 104 WATCH... you are looking for a sign for MARTIN BROTHERS ROAD. It is actually SR 3004 but you won't have time to look for the segment markers. Just watch and take that L onto Martin Brothers. Follow the road up a ways... maybe 2 more miles and you will see the place on the left.

What's In There:

OH.

MY.

GODddddd... D.

This place is incredible. This time of year there are piles and piles of apples and tomatoes and peaches and pears just piled up everywhere. But this is no fruit stand, my little sparrows... Pull into the lot and brace yourself...

It is not the best organized but that is its terrible beauty... it's a Hall of Mirrors for foodies. Remember foodies? The front door opens into the check out but you won't know that until you finally tear yourself away from the place... this is a smallish room that has bagged up bulk foodstuffs... flours, 25 and 50 pound bags of sugar, cocoa and noodles and all the stuff these Amish people bag and package up for us... some Health and Beauty Aids... I saw 99 cent BIG tubes of Close-Up and Pepsodent toothpaste that, yes, you COULD get at the Dollar Store but you can't get THIS experience at the strip mall... some paper products are also in there and then the spices towards the back but then you notice a little doorway...

The Grains Group

You are led into an anteroom of baked goods and if it doesn't bring true tears to your eyes to see this you have no heart and I can't help you.

Racks and racks of spelt, 5 grain, multi-grain, 7 grain, pumpernickel, rye, wheat and white bread that JUST came out of the oven all of them loaves as big as your head and mostly about $2 each. Long 2-inch-thick slabs of bread with tomatoes and cheese folded into it that weigh about 4 pounds a loaf...

I got the most beautiful day-old Swedish rye for $1.65 and I am NOT sharing. There is a pie case with Shoofly wet and dry bottom. Peach pies, banana crème pies, pumpkin rolls the size of your Uncle Ned's thigh for $7 and some as big as your forearm for $3.75.

The thing I couldn't leave alone? Oh. My. Godddddd. There was a plate of peanut butter cookies sandwiched together with peanut butter icing on a paper plate for $2.50. I don't know how many were there but they were going in that car with Brian and Susan and the 4 kids because if I took them home I was gonna eat them all.

Sorry. This is all that was left after we got back to the ranch.

They were so good the sugar buzz didn't wear off until long after I was back home.

Come out of the bakery room and into the light of the main grocery. Here are the shelves of stuff that will be old hat to you if you ever get the hang of seeing cereal in bags but not in the box for a dollar. Every kind of bagged and boxed and canned good is in here, some of it a little banged up and some not. Freezer cases with pizza and frozen chicken breasts and vegetables. Then.

The Dairy Case.

Oh. My. Godddd.

They had 30 oz tubs of whipped cream cheese for $1.59. The 8 oz. bricks of cream cheese were 79 cents, I think. Butter was about $2.49 a pound. There were case boxes of yogurt for about 20 cents a container and 24 oz. containers of sour cream for 75 cents. Yep. THEN the refrigerated case of cheese.

There is more organic cheese in this store than I have seen at the Giant, The Wegman's and the Whole Foods in Shadyside, Pittsburgh, put together. And some of the sharp aged cheddar, garlic cheddar and Monterrey Jack was getting a tad strong. That's what they say... it's getting "strong."

This means the cheese, which is still alive and not killed dead like the common and vastly inferior cheese-like product you have been brain-washed into believing is cheese as you buy it in the plastic wrap at The Giant, is off-gassing and you are about to get some honest to god cheese taste if you pony up the $1.49 and $1.65 a pound they were asking for this stuff last night.

There is every other kind there at prices of about $3 - $6 a pound, too... but the deal... real cheese for SO cheap...

A lot of it is made by the Grassy Ridge Farm in Thompsontown which is just a stone's throw and you won't need a lot of it grated up on some of that rye bread with a slather of mayo and a slice of some tomato to take you off to a sweet place where the summer never ends until it hits the tip of your tongue. Yum.

Don't Stop There...

Turn around past the 5 pound tubs of peanut butter for $6 and the 12 feet of shelf space devoted to broken pretzels and the bagged up loose jello in every candy color of the rainbow and you will see the gift of this land to these people...

RACKS of pecks and half pecks and 1/4 pecks of apples... Honey Crisps, Jonathans, Galas and 5 more kinds... Pears... red Bartletts and Sekels ... Plums... damson and Santa Rosas, red and purple... Peaches... Sweet Sues, Crest Havens, Madisons, Blazin' Furies, nectarines and so many more... all of them for half the price you'll pay at a roadside stand. The tomatoes were $9 a peck. The apples were $16 a half bushel...

Keep going... there are more things in the case... some cherries, some celery and other salad stuff but then... the Fresh Express 8 oz. bags of chopped triple Romaine hearts were 3 / $1 and...

Now, I know what you do with the 8# bags of shredded lettuce I saw for $2.99 at the Sharp Shopper in Middletown last month.

Brian says they are actually 5-1/4 lbs. to the bag and they are usually packed 4 to the box and you can dress TWENTY-FIVE submarine sandwiches with a bag of this lettuce. He knows his shit. He used to shadow cater the gun shows at the Farm Show Complex when he knew how to smuggle stuff in there in his own salad days and you could get these $2.99 bags of shredded lettuce at the Whispering Pines yesterday for...

...wait for it...

$1.49.

It was a beautiful thing but I didn't have 25 sandwiches to make...

No lie. I got out of this place for $20 and that included the $7.65 I paid for nearly 5 pounds of aged organic cheddar cheese I could NOT live without AND the plate of peanut butter sandwich cookies ...

I only got as far as the parking lot before I saw the tomatoes out there on a table at 99 cents a quart and they were so red and gorgeous I had to go back in...

I nearly made it to the car when I saw the watermelons... orange-fleshed seedless for $2.99 and nice 10 pound seeded ones for about the same price... You know I would have picked at least one of those up but I'd promised the women at the checkout that I would not come back any more that day.

Besides, those peanut butter cookies were calling my name...

How To Leave:

If you aren't going back to Brian and Susan's, head back down Martin Brothers Rd. and turn left onto Rt. 104 S. Follow it out to where it hits Rts. 11/15 S just above Liverpool and you'll be back in Mooville, tearing open those bags of peaches and plums in 30 minutes if you hurry.

Next time: I don't know. I'll think of something. Just now, though, I need a nap.

Outlet Grocery Review: Pallet Grocery Outlet, Mifflintown, PA

The Pallet Grocery Outlet is a real-deal bulk food / salvage / close date / dented can grocery in the middle of nowhere: almost as much fun to get there as it is to find.

Pallet Grocery Outlet

RR1, Box 669 Rockland Rd.

Mifflintown, PA 17059

Phone: 717-463-9200

Mon / Tues / Sat: 9 AM - 5 PM

Thurs / Fri: 9 AM - 8 PM

Wed / Sun : CLOSED

Accepts, cash, local checks, food stamps, debit AND credit cards!

They'll bag your groceries in free plastic bags.

You will never find this place if you go looking for it without a guide and I will put a banana box of dented cans on this bet. Lucky for us both, my pals Brian and Susan and their 4 way too cool kidlets invited me to go with on a forage to Salvage Grocery North Country on Friday.

How to Get There

From Mooville Center find Rt. 322 W or Rt. 11/15 N and get on Rt. 322 towards State College somehow. Take the Thompsontown exit off Rt. 322 onto Rt. 333 E. Follow that to Rt. 235. Make a L onto Rt. 235 towards McAlisterville. At the light for Rt. 35 S go L. There will be a Juniata Bank Building on the left corner as you face the intersection but I don't know for how long because Brian said they just built a new one with a horse and buggy drive-through further up and he was right. They'll be selling this off and you could have a nice McAlisterville property if you wanted one pretty soon. Now. Once you get yourself on Rt. 35 you have nothing to help you but paying attention. WATCH for a low to the ground sign that says "J & M Pallet" and hang a R at that sign. I don't know the name of the road. WATCH for another sign that says "J & M Pallet" and make another R. At the third "J & M Pallet" sign, make a L and you will find the store on the L.

It is an immaculately clean metal pole building with lots of eaves and additions and the pallet mill is directly behind it. There is a hitching post for the horse and buggy if you brought one but the parking lot is large enough to accommodate whatever you drove there with.

What's Inside:

Regular cheap cleaning supplies, soap and vitamins and toothpaste, cereal, cake mixes, canned everything, tea and coffee, bulk flour and noodles and spices.

The vitamins were 150 count Centrum Silver for $1.99. Yes, the seal was broken and they had a February 10 code date on them but they're for the dog and I'm sure they'll be just fine.

Way cheap salad dressings that were 50 cents each or 5 for $1. They were very heavy on the Caesar's yesterday. Paul Newman, Brianna's, very good salad dressings. LOTS of mustard. LOTS of Grey Poupon at 99 cents an 8 oz. squeeze bottle.

Boxes of 16 oz. Bellino Arborio Risotto for 99 cents I had to have. Nonni's Biscotti, the 7 ounce boxes of Turtle Pecan were 79 cents each. A nice deli case and some dairy products. Frozen food. All 30 - 40% off what you would pay at a standard grocery store and clean as a whistle inside, too.

Yesterday they had 4 oz. bags of really good Springer Mountain Farms dog treats for Shadow the Wonder Dog at 79 cents a bag. Made with free-farmed chicken raised with NO antibiotics, NO corn, NO wheat, NO soy, NO preservatives and pomegranate. In a DOG TREAT! I KNOW! For 79 cents a bag. Shadow almost didn't mind being left behind for this trip when he got a whiff of these. But none of this is the big deal as big as it is.

THIS Is The Big Deal:

These wonderful people will sell you banana boxes for $5 a clip.

No, not an empty banana box although you and I both know the last time you moved you would have given more than that for a good banana box. These babies... when they have them... and they don't always... are a Big Fat Surprise Pak and you can't have this much legal fun in Mooville for five bucks, I'm telling you.

Yesterday, Brian asked one of the ladies stocking the shelves if Jesse was in. I thought this might be Mennonite code for who knows what but it turns out that Jesse and Carol Meyer run this place and Brian knows them. Jesse wasn't actually available (I think he is the J of J&M Pallet and was busy making pallets, I'm guessing) but it was enough of a tip that they were willing to admit to him that they only had 3 boxes of unsorted stuff just then.

Brian and Susan relieved them of 2 and I took the last one.

When we got it back to their house we opened them up and traded around for what we all wanted and this is what comes inside a $5 banana box at the Pallet Grocery Outlet:

What I Came Away With...

(9) cans solid white albacore tuna in water; Bumble Bee, 3 Diamonds, StarKist and Chicken of the Sea

(2) cans chunk light tuna in water

(2) 35 oz. cans of Cento peeled tomatoes

(2) 28 oz. cans of Luigi Vitelli tomato puree

(2) 15 oz. cans of Hunt's tomato sauce

(1) 8 oz. can of Hunt's tomato sauce

(2) 26 oz. cans of Hunt's spaghetti sauce - Four cheese and Garlic and Herb

(3) 15 oz. cans of Joan of Arc kidney beans

(1) 15 oz. can of Furman's crushed tomatoes

(1) 15 oz. can of Bush's black beans

(1) can Bush's Chili Magic chili starter

(1) can Hunt's Manwich Original Sloppy Joe sauce

(2) cans La Choy Chop Suey vegetables

(2) 15 oz. cans of Silver Floss sauerkraut

(1) can Del Monte sliced white potatoes

(1) can IGA green beans

(1) 8 oz. can Giorgio mushroom pieces

(2) 14 oz. cans of One Pie squash I'm not sure what you do with

(1) 32 oz. can of Campbell's tomato juice

(1) 10 oz. jar of Smucker's Simply Fruit Blueberry Spreadable Fruit

(1) unlabeled can of what turned out to be mixed salted cashews, pecans and Brazil nuts- no peanuts!

and...

(4) unlabeled true surprise cans. I haven't opened them up yet. If you have to know what's in them, send me an email and we'll look together...

44 cans of things @ $5 for the lot = 11 cents each.

Nope. Not with a stick...

Now:

Brian and Susan's bunch will not eat tuna fish and I don't eat meat at all. I gave up an unlabeled quart of apple juice and 2 jars of Smucker's Simply Fruit Blueberry preserves because there were three of those in my one box and how much blueberry preserves can one person and her spoiled rotten dog eat?

I don't eat tuna fish, either, but I'm thinking some very deserving people at the office are going to get cans of fancy white albacore for Christmas. I gave them a couple of cans of meat-based spaghetti sauce and they gave me one of their two cans of mushroom pieces and the Bush's chili starter. I think I gave them one of the 3 cans of sauerkraut and some carrots and peas and they forced me to take a couple of extra cans of black and kidney beans.

Not pictured here was a can of sardines from my box that had leaked a little oil and I wasn't having any of that but the kids agreed to open it up the rest of the way and feed it to the cats and Brian and Susan's porch smelled like the Edmund Fitzgerald as I was leaving out of there last night.

Everyone was a satisfied customer of the Pallet Grocery Outlet Friday night.

Next Time: Brian and Susan weren't done yet... Whispering Pines Fruit Farm, Mt. Pleasant Mills, PA